What I'm thinking...
So much reading and so much to process but I wanted to share a few things that have come to me so far:
1) I am not Kos nor do I want to be anything like him.
That was a perfect "click" moment for me as I was reading through all of the amazing writing this week. So much of it totally made sense and rang true to me, but when a few people threw down the "Where are all the women bloggers" and "You'd best be nice to the menz or the menz won't help you silly little women" bombs I was like, OMG, Becky! I think I get it now!
Coz ya know, just because I don't use "The N Word" or "ching-chong" jargon does not make me a "good" ally to WOC anymore than not raping women makes someone a "good" feminist. It's actually just the most basic level of common-decency. Literally, the very least I can do. I should be doing more. Much more.
2) WOC issues are not "special interest" issues anymore than reproductive rights are a "special interest" issue. If it effects any woman, it effects all women.
3) WOC owe white feminists nothing. They do not have to reward us, acknowledge us, be nice to us, or even pay attention to us when we do anti-racist work. As I said before, it is just the most basic level of human decency and common courtesy and we don't deserve medals for not being selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed assholes (for once).
4a) It's not always about me. I don't have to take every comment or criticism about white feminists personally. If I feel hurt, threatened, or offended by something a WOC has said or written, I need to STFU, listen, and learn. I may not necessarily agree with what they're saying or feel that it doesn't apply to me, but I don't need to defend any white woman from a woman of color anymore than any woman needs to defend men in any feminist discussion. Like Magniloquence said:
4b) It's not always about me. I've said it a million times to other feminists who get all bent out of shape about shit: If the shoe doesn't fit, then don't wear it!
If a WOC says, "[White feminists] did/do such-and-such and it's some fucked up bullshit!" I don't need to run in and say, "Well, I'm a white feminist and I don't do that." or "Not all white feminists do that!" I might as well preface every conversation about rape with "Not all men rape!" and then shoot myself in the face for being such a fucking moron.
It's true, not all white feminists do such-and-such, but that's a given so instead of disrupting a fruitful conversation to state the obvious, it might serve me well to STFU and learn something new.
I'm sure I'll have items 5 through 29 billion at some point and I'll share them along the way but I just wanted to say one more thing before I go: Tuesday I was basically all, "Where are all the Feminist Women of Color Bloggers?!?!" and since being directed to a handful of them, I've found more and more and more. I've read zillions of brilliant thoughts, ideas, and words and haven't had time to read any of the blogs I usually read and you know what? (Yes, I know I've been a total jackass. What did I say about stating the obvious?!) I've actually learned a shitload more reading blogs in the past two days than I have in the past two months. Go figure.
Also: I was reading this and I thought to myself, Huh. So that's how intelligent, civilized human beings have a discussion and disagree with one another.
I hardly ever read or leave comments anywhere because whether the topic is soft, fluffy kittens or an illegal, deadly war, there's bound to be some fucked up, racist, sexist, bullshit flying and it stresses me out. Apparently though, that doesn't happen everywhere, mostly just in the White Progressive Blogosphere That I've Been Frequenting Too Much.
1) I am not Kos nor do I want to be anything like him.
That was a perfect "click" moment for me as I was reading through all of the amazing writing this week. So much of it totally made sense and rang true to me, but when a few people threw down the "Where are all the women bloggers" and "You'd best be nice to the menz or the menz won't help you silly little women" bombs I was like, OMG, Becky! I think I get it now!
Coz ya know, just because I don't use "The N Word" or "ching-chong" jargon does not make me a "good" ally to WOC anymore than not raping women makes someone a "good" feminist. It's actually just the most basic level of common-decency. Literally, the very least I can do. I should be doing more. Much more.
2) WOC issues are not "special interest" issues anymore than reproductive rights are a "special interest" issue. If it effects any woman, it effects all women.
3) WOC owe white feminists nothing. They do not have to reward us, acknowledge us, be nice to us, or even pay attention to us when we do anti-racist work. As I said before, it is just the most basic level of human decency and common courtesy and we don't deserve medals for not being selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed assholes (for once).
4a) It's not always about me. I don't have to take every comment or criticism about white feminists personally. If I feel hurt, threatened, or offended by something a WOC has said or written, I need to STFU, listen, and learn. I may not necessarily agree with what they're saying or feel that it doesn't apply to me, but I don't need to defend any white woman from a woman of color anymore than any woman needs to defend men in any feminist discussion. Like Magniloquence said:
You are not saying anything the people of color you’re talking to haven’t heard a thousand times before. You are not saying anything the people of color you’re talking to haven’t told themselves a thousand times before. If you would actually stop your reflexive know-it-all yammering and pay attention to what people of color actually SAY about the offenses they suffer on the prejudice - racism continuum, you will note that almost to a person they second-guess their own gut feelings about the putative offender far beyond the point where almost any white person would.
4b) It's not always about me. I've said it a million times to other feminists who get all bent out of shape about shit: If the shoe doesn't fit, then don't wear it!
If a WOC says, "[White feminists] did/do such-and-such and it's some fucked up bullshit!" I don't need to run in and say, "Well, I'm a white feminist and I don't do that." or "Not all white feminists do that!" I might as well preface every conversation about rape with "Not all men rape!" and then shoot myself in the face for being such a fucking moron.
It's true, not all white feminists do such-and-such, but that's a given so instead of disrupting a fruitful conversation to state the obvious, it might serve me well to STFU and learn something new.
I'm sure I'll have items 5 through 29 billion at some point and I'll share them along the way but I just wanted to say one more thing before I go: Tuesday I was basically all, "Where are all the Feminist Women of Color Bloggers?!?!" and since being directed to a handful of them, I've found more and more and more. I've read zillions of brilliant thoughts, ideas, and words and haven't had time to read any of the blogs I usually read and you know what? (Yes, I know I've been a total jackass. What did I say about stating the obvious?!) I've actually learned a shitload more reading blogs in the past two days than I have in the past two months. Go figure.
Also: I was reading this and I thought to myself, Huh. So that's how intelligent, civilized human beings have a discussion and disagree with one another.
I hardly ever read or leave comments anywhere because whether the topic is soft, fluffy kittens or an illegal, deadly war, there's bound to be some fucked up, racist, sexist, bullshit flying and it stresses me out. Apparently though, that doesn't happen everywhere, mostly just in the White Progressive Blogosphere That I've Been Frequenting Too Much.
Labels: feminism, jared loves women, privilege, racism, woc
ms. jared shits you not at
12:47 PM
5 Comments:
Apparently though, that doesn't happen everywhere, mostly just in the White Progressive Blogosphere That I've Been Frequenting Too Much.
Thanks for pointing me back to that one--last I'd peeped in was before La Verdad asked Nez to retract the slur, but after Kai and Nez had started talking about what's wrong with it.
But exactly: You see it done like that, you see people listening to each other without all the defensiveness, and you just want to smack a dude like Kos and say, "See? Now is this really so hard?"
By
ilyka, at May 24, 2007 5:09 PM
Although I didn't read it in *your* post, at some of the other blogs I read there's this meme that sort of bothers me, that there's one "women of color feminism." I mean, there is, but not all nonwhite feminists subscribe to it, and with all this talk about "WOC feminists" versus "white feminists", I'm starting to feel a little bit pressured to conform to the "WOC feminist" side. Most of the feminist blogs I read are by white feminists (witchy-woo, IBTP, ginmar, etc.). And I have participated in discussions about beauty culture and feminist blogwars that apparently only "white feminists" participate in. And because of that, I've had (usually white) people assume that I am white or act like women of color are not allowed(!) to have those viewpoints. I'm not pretending that race doesn't exist, but I don't think that my race obligates me to certain beliefs and venues.
*shrugs*
Since you were looking for ideas about race and feminism, I thought I'd just set them out here. Apologies if I threadjacked :)
By
exangelena, at May 25, 2007 7:36 AM
NOT a threadjack! i appreciate hearing your thoughts on the subject and do agree with you to a certain extent.
i don't think that anyone needs to take "sides" necessarily because we all learn from one another, but i think it is up to white feminists to see outside of the make-up/blowjob wars and see other issues that concern other women.
i can't remember where i read it but someone made a good point that how many times can we go over the abortion thing? yes, it's incredibly important, but we (I) need to open up to see other issues as well. immigration being a big one.
thanks so much for reading and commenting!
By
ms. jared, at May 25, 2007 8:26 AM
actually, i think what i really mean is that *I* often read or hear something and i think "well, i don't do that so i don't have to worry about it. i'm not racist." but i miss so much of the other stuff or i don't stand with WOC enough in their fights, you know? it's like i think, "i'm a good white girl so my work is done" or something. and it's not. and that's where i'm at now: not being an asshole is not enough. being a compassionate, caring, respectful, trustworthy ALLY is what i need to work on.
i need to work on it in my WHOLE life actually. it's always "me, me, me!" with me and i need to cut it out. :-)
By
ms. jared, at May 25, 2007 8:36 AM
Hmmm ... I guess I just worry that I'll be classed as a "WOC feminist" because of my race, whereas white feminists can be radfems, or sexpos fems, or ecofeminists or liberal feminists. Don't get me wrong, race is one of the big reasons I'm a feminist, but I'd rather pick my school of feminism rather than be sorted into one because of my eyelid shape and skin color.
I think the best thing for the white feminist bloggers is to *listen* to WOC feminists, especially with regards to racial issues, because it's a perspective formed of experiences that white feminists haven't had. I'm also a bit concerned about tokenism, like reading or agreeing with WOC feminists because they are WOC, or appropriation.
Hope I'm not preachy, and keep up the great blog :)
By
exangelena, at May 26, 2007 5:27 PM
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